Watson is a Pimp
by foxfire222
Summary: The people of Scotland Yard all think Dr. John Watson is a quiet man who drinks tea and wears fuzzy jumpers. But there is more to him, as they will each soon discover. Come and see their reactions to John Watson, Ladies Man.
1. Sally

Scotland Yard had a very set view of Dr. John Watson. John Watson is the very definition of an average man. He was quiet most of the time. Always out of the way at a crime scene. Suffering in silence while living with the most irritating man in London , Sherlock Holmes. Wearing fuzzy jumpers and drinking tea whenever they would show up for a 'drugs bust'.

This is why it was a bit of a surprise for Sally Donovan when she went out one Friday night and saw the Doctor at a night club. And not just any nightclub, but a dancing night club. Instead of wearing a fuzzy jumper and drinking tea, the man was dressed in a slightly posh manner and had just taken a shot of some kind. His hair was also styled slightly, giving him a more distinct look. If anything, he looked like John Watson's evil twin or something. And she would have left right then and found another club but her date, Kevin, was dragging her over to the bar.

As luck would have it, they stopped at the bar right nest to where John was leaning back on the bar on his elbows as he looked out at the dance floor. A cool pose Donovan would never have guessed the man even knew, much less was capable of. She hoped he wouldn't notice her. But luck was once again against her because John turned to order a drink and made direct eye contact with her. She watched his eyes widen in surprise before they became slightly uncertain. He was clearly as uncomfortable about meeting like this as Sally herself was. He gave a small smile that Sally couldn't help but return. They may not be on the best of terms, but that was no reason to ruin the others night out.

"You look nice." John offered

Sally nodded and motioned to Kevin, who was standing next to her and ordering drinks, "Yeah, got a date." She looked over his outfit, "Do you have one too?"

John looked down at himself and chuckled, "No, but I must look it. After all, you've never seen me outside of a jumper have you?"

Sally shook her head, "No, I haven't. It's a good look for you." She smiled a bit wider, feeling a bit more comfortable now

"Thanks." he smiled back

At that moment, Kevin handed Sally her drink, "Here babe, drink up." Sally took it with a flirty smile. Kevin looked over at John, "Whose this guy?"

John held his hands up in surrender and gave a grin, "Not trying anything mate, promise. I just know her from work."

Kevin's face softened at that and asked, "Oh? You a police officer or a detective?"

Sally snorted, "No, he isn't. Not even close."

Kevin blinked in confusion, "Then...what does he do?"

"It's a bit hard to explain." John said, "But I help out on cases from time to time."

"Oh." Kevin replied, looking away, interest now gone that he knew no one was trying to take his date form him, "Wanna dance Sally?"

"Yeah." Sally smiled up at Kevin. She waved goodbye to John as she went out onto the dance floor

It would e another 2 hours before she saw John again. This time she had gone to the bar to get another drink. When she turned around she caught sight of him on the dance floor. He was dancing with a young woman who had long brown hair and a short skirt. And by dancing, she meant grinding into her from behind while the girl's hands had reached back to grab his hips in encouragement. It was a strange sight, seeing the normally quiet man act that way. But, Sally reminded herself, her was a normal guy. He must go out and do normal things when not running around London after the Freak. But she couldn't help her eyes widening as John Watson put his hand on the young woman's bare leg and slowly dragged it upward so that it went part way up her skirt. She was even more surprised when John said something into the woman's ear that made her smile wickedly, giggle, and then lead John off the dance floor and out the door.

"Hey, Sally, everything alright?"

Kevin's voice next to her made her jump, "Nothing. Just saw something I never thought I would is all."

The next day there was a double murder at a petrol station and the Freak was called in. she watched John Watson carefully and noticed how happy he seemed. An extra spring in his step that Sally could easily relate to after her own late night. She was only slightly surprised when John broke away from the Freak to come and stand next to her.

After a few minutes of silence John spoke, still looking straight ahead, "How was the date?" he asked

Sally didn't look at him but replied, "About as good as yours from the look of it."

John chuckled, "I didn't have a date last night."

Sally almost looked at him in shock, but caught herself before she could, "So you just went out and picked up a girl?"

"You sound so surprised." John said with another chuckle

"I am." she answered honestly, "I never pictured you as a ladies man."

"There's a lot you don't know about me...Sally." John then went back to listen to the Freak tell them all what had happened and point out the gun under the Icee machine. Sally was to stunned with John using her first name to crack wise.


	2. Anderson

Anderson really hated these sorts of parties. Everyone standing around, drinking cheep champagne, eating nibbles, and pretending to care about the charity they had given money to. The only reason he was here was to get his wife to stop nagging him. She had given a small donation to some little clinic in Central London and so had been invited to this party. She had then stuffed him in a tuxedo and dragged him along with her. So here he stood with a plastic champagne flute in his hand, trying to find something of interest to keep him occupied

Then, he spotted her. Long blond hair that shimmered in the light. A tight blue dress that showed off both her legs and her cleavage. Skin the color of fresh milk. And a blood red smile that showed off her perfect, white teeth. He grinned as he walked toward her, determined to start a conversation. He didn't worry about his wife. She was to busy mingling to pay him any attention.

He was only about a meter away when another man in a tuxedo blocked his way and offered the woman a drink. She smiled and took it with a soft giggle, "Thank you Doctor. I had wondered where you wondered off to.

Anderson felt jealousy swell in his chest and thought to himself, 'Lucky bastard.' He was about to back away before he was noticed when the man responded in a very familiar voice.

"Sorry. Got cornered at the drinks table by a few investors. Have to play nice to keep getting money for the clinic."

Anderson turned so fast it was a miracle he didn't get whiplash. He was sure that voice belonged to, "Watson?" he whispered in disbelief at the sight that met his eyes

There stood John Watson, wearing a tux and laughing with a gorgeous woman. Anderson noticed the name tag on Watson's front, showing he was one of the Doctors who worked at the Clinic this whole party was for. This surprised Anderson. It had never really occurred to him that Watson had any other job then following the Freak around like a lost puppy. But now that he thought about it, it made sense. After all, he and the Freak were flatmates so the rent had to come from somewhere. And he was sure someone had mentioned the man being a Doctor at some point. But what didn't make sense was the fact that the short blond was flirting with the tall one. He watched them move over to a place near some pillars and decided to hide behind one and eaves drop. After all, how else was he going to entertain himself.

"I'm so glad I came to this stupid thing now." John was saying, "I wouldn't have met you otherwise."

'So she isn't his date.' Anderson concluded as the woman laughed at Watson's flirting, 'But how can he get the attention of someone like that?"

"So am I Doctor Watson." the woman agreed

"Please, call me John."

"Jessa." the woman replied

"Well Jessa, may I say that dress is lovely. Wherever did you get it?"

And for the next hour that was all the two of them did. They flirted lightly, nothing involving innuendos, and talked about normal things. They only each had two more drinks, so they weren't drunk. But for the life of him, Anderson couldn't figure out how at the end of the party John Watson left with Jessa on his arm. And he was infuriated that as Watson left the room, he had turned back and looked straight at Anderson. He had then given a sly smile and a wink before vanishing out the door.


	3. Dimmock

DI Dimmock was not a stupid man. He was observant enough to know where to look when needed. He also had the sense to listen when other people spoke, in case he might need to know the tiniest thing later. He had also recently learned to take everything Sherlock said as gospel, as the man himself put it. He had of course heard several dozen different things around the Yard about Sherlock since he had been transferred there two years ago. It was only after he had just been promoted that he also started hearing things about a man named John Watson, Holmes's new assistant. From what he had heard the man was a Doctor. It was also rumored that he used to be a soldier but no one could confirm that yet because no one had the guts to ask. The man was crazy enough to not only follow Sherlock around but to also live with the man. Aside from that, everything about the man sounded calm and quiet. And when he had met the pair he was inclined to agree with almost everything he had heard. He had even gotten along slightly with John Watson and gave him a bit of a wave whenever they saw each other at the Yard.

So he was slightly surprised when he saw Watson out side of work at a pub down the street. He had greeted the man and they had started talking. There were a few things different about the man that Dimmock noticed at once. The first being that instead of a jumper John was wearing a nice button up shirt and a new looking jacket. The second thing he noticed was cologne. He had asked if he was interrupting anything, like a date, and John had blushed.

"To be honest with you, I'm out to night looking to have it off with someone." John chuckled, "Sherlock has just been such a pain lately that I need a bit of a break."

Dimmock had just laughed and nodded, "I know how you feel mate. Work has been getting on my last nerve lately."

And so they had spent the next hour talking about what in their lives bothered them. They had each had about 2 pints at that point. Then, the girls had walked in. A pair of twins, that was obvious. They had long red hair, green eyes, tight trousers, and tighter shirts. Watson had been on his feet instantly and was moving across the room. For a moment Dimmock had thought John was bailing on him to chase the birds. He had been both surprised and ecstatic when John had returned with the twins in tow.

The next several hours were spent drinking, flirting, and just generally having a good time. But after his 7th pint Dimmock couldn't remember anything. Which was why he was so confused when he woke in a strangers bed. He was upset for about a second before he noticed a beautiful redhead clinging to his arm in sleep. A quick peek under the covers showed they were both naked. He grinned to himself before slipping out of the bed and putting on his boxers and trousers. He put on his button up shirt but left it hanging open as he went looking for a bathroom. He found it quickly. Once he was done he followed the smell of fresh coffee to the kitchen.

He was shocked to see John Watson standing there in his own trousers and open shirt. His hair was a mess and his neck was covered in love bites. He turned to Dimmock and smirked, "Morning, sleep well?"

"Not sure really. But I'm going to say yes seeing as I woke in the arms of a gorgeous woman a few minutes ago." Dimmock sat down as John placed a mug of coffee in front of him, "What happened last night?"

"You remember those twins that came in around 9?" John asked. Dimmock nodded, "Well, we took them home."

Dimmock nodded, "I got that bit. I meant how did we do it?"

"Well, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think I convinced them. After a few drinks you get a bit sappy. I convinced them that you had broken it off with your girlfriend and needed some companionship."

"You mean you got me a sympathy shag?" Dimmock didn't know whether to be thankful or insulted by that

"Yeah." John grinned, "And I got myself a shag for being such a great friend to you." he leaned over the counter and whispered, "And if you help me finish making breakfast, I think we can both get a morning shag as well. Just bring it to our partners as breakfast in bed. A sort of thank you. It usually gets me one more go before I leave." John winked

"How do you know all this stuff?" Dimmock was looking in awe at the older man

"They used to call me John "Three Continents" Watson in the army for a reason." John said slyly as he started cracking eggs into a pan, "Now get started on that toast and pour some juice."

The next time the two saw each other at the station they had a long conversation. When Lestrade had asked Dimmock later what it was about the young DI had replied, "Oh, we're going out for drinks tonight. He's going to show me some more of his tricks." and then simply walked away leaving a confused Lestrade behind

AN: Sorry to say we only have two chapters left. Lestrade and then the rest of the Yard. Be on the look out.


	4. Lestrade

Lestrade had known Sherlock Holmes for a little under a decade. In that time he had seen the young man in many different ways. He had seen him passed out in the gutter from to many drugs. He had seen him shiver and yell his way through detox. He had seen him stabbed in the hand while chasing a murderer. He had seen him argue with every forensic scientist the Yard had. He had even once seen him sneeze right in the Chief Inspector's face, claiming it was the man's cologne that had caused it. That had been a great day for all who were present. But he had never seen Sherlock Holmes sitting on his own doorstep pouting a bit like a child would if you denied them ice-cream.

He got out of his car and walked over to Sherlock. He didn't bother asking Sherlock what was wrong, he knew he wouldn't get an answer. Instead he said, "I need those files back that you borrowed last week. They needed to be recorded."

"You can't have them right now." Sherlock snapped

"I don't care if you still want them, I need them back." Lestrade argued, "If you won't give them back on your own I'll just go up and get them." Lestrade made to open the door but Sherlock was on his feet in a flash and blocking the door with his whole body

"You can't go up there right now." he said, slightly nervous

This caught Lestrade's attention in the worst way. The last time Sherlock hadn't let him into his flat there had been drugs sitting on the table. This had been a few weeks after Lestrade had met him. It had been at that moment that Lestrade promised himself he would never listen to Sherlock about privacy again. And that thought caused a cold pit to form in the DI's stomach, "Move Sherlock." he said sternly

"No." the consulting detective replied quickly, still looking a little nervous, "Your not allowed right now."

That did it. Lestrade reached out and pulled Sherlock from his own doorstep. As Sherlock stumbled into the street Lestrade rushed inside and up the stairs. He could hear Sherlock calling after him but he ignored it. He rushed to the door of the flat and opened it in a rush. He paused and tried to understand what greeted him on the couch.

He knew what it was, he had kids after all. But the situation was just to unnatural for his brain to process instantly. It was John Watson, naked as the day he was born, thrusting into an equally naked woman. She was moaning out something Lestrade didn't want to ever identify. The sound of the door opening must have drawn her attention because she opened her eyes and looked straight at him. And then she screamed.

John was on his feet in seconds in a defensive stance, ready for anything. At the sight of Lestrade however he paled and shouted in distress as he hurriedly took the blanket from the back of the couch and tried to cover both himself and his lover, "Greg, what the hell."

Lestrade came back to himself then and flushed as red as a tomato, "Sorry." he said quickly and took several steps back, shutting the door hard as he went. He just stood there for several seconds before turning around and running back down the stairs.

Sherlock greeted him at the bottom of the stairs and sighed, "I told you not to go up there."

"You could have at least told me why you great prat." Lestrade argued, "Why couldn't you just say John had a girl up there?"

"Because you didn't give me time." Sherlock argued back, "Besides, it's hardly anything new. You lot are just never around when it happens." Sherlock suddenly got a bit of a desperate look on his face, "Can you take me to Scotland Yard and give me some cold cases to look over. He'll be busy for a few more hours at least."

"What do you mean busy? Isn't someone walking in on him enough to ruin the mood?" Lestrade was now not only traumatized, he was also confused

"You would think so, but no. I've walked in on him twice. It never seemed to slow him down. Now I just wait out here for it all to be over." Sherlock said in a bored tone of voice, "So can we go to the Yard now?"

Lestrade felt all the air rush out of him and his shoulders dropped in defeat, "Yeah, get in the car." There was really nothing else to say at this point. As they drove away from the flat Lestrade couldn't help asking, "So he does this a lot does he?"

"At least once a week, sometimes twice." Sherlock answered with a nod

"Bloody Hell." Lestrade whispered to himself, knowing it would be at least a week before he would be able to look John Watson in the eye again


	5. Everyone Else

Everyone in the Yard had heard the stories about John Watson. About how he was really a ladies man under those jumpers and behind the tea. None of them believed a word of it. After all, if Watson was someone like that, they would have noticed. And no one did, until that faithful night when the Yard Homicide division had a Christmas party. It took place at a popular club that was a good mix of modern and old fashioned. And of course, they had invited Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. After all, every good party needs a mascot.

No one was surprised when John Watson turned up without Sherlock. What did surprise them was that he showed up with a date. And not just any date. A date with red lips, sparkling teeth, long shiny black hair, and a body that could bring a lesser man to his knees. And it was all wrapped up in a tight dress that made her look like the sexiest candy cane ever made. John Watson didn't look to bad himself. Gone were the jumper and loose pants. They were replaced by a nice fitting pair of jeans and a dark green button up. He had also styled his hair.

They were shocked but tried not to show it. They treated John's date with interest, asking how the pair had met. Mandy, for that was her name, told the tale of meeting John at a club last week. How they had clicked in a great way and had decided to go out on a real date. It was clear that she was implying a physical connection and not an emotional one. Through it all John had said nothing. He had just stood there with a sly grin on his face.

The night continued and after a few more drinks no one really felt shocked by earlier events. That changed when Dimmock pointed to the other end of the bar. Farther down from the party was John and Mandy. And they had been joined by a woman in a shiny dress with a perfect mocha skin tone. The girl was touching John's shoulder and laughing. And Mandy, instead of trying to claim John, was touching John's other shoulder and also laughing. John was between them with a wide smile, clearly being the source of whatever the girls found so very funny. And then the new girl leaned down and kissed John on the cheek lightly with a shy smile. John returned the smile with a slight predatory look to it.

Many could not believe their eyes. Some, Dimmock among them, looked on in absolute awe. The rest just shrugged and took another shot. After another few drinks the only thing anyone could feel was respect for John. They entertained themselves by watching John Watson work his magic. The way he would touch both girls a little differently, somehow knowing just what to do for both of them without thinking. How while he would whisper something in Mandy's ear he was curling the other girl's hair in his fingers teasingly. How he bought drinks, but nothing to hard. And when closing time came around no one was surprised by what happened. John Watson walked out that door with a girl on each arm and a triumphant look on his face.

AN: Alright, so, I thought I was gonna end it here. And then I got the idea of what John's life would be like once everyone knows. It's not great but I hope you like it.

+1 Extra John

Ever since then John would notice how people treated him a bit differently. At any party from that point on where families were involved, the men would keep their wives and older daughters away from him. When helping take witness statements at crime scenes he was only ever allowed to talk to the male ones. And when a batch of new recruits came one day he had tried to talk to a young female with curly hair. He wanted to know about the injury on her hand. But before he could even get farther then introducing himself, Lestrade had swooped in and taken her away. But he didn't put it all together until he had stumbled across that same batch of recruits in a pub later that week.

He had been looking for someone to help him get a leg over when he spotted them. They hadn't appeared to have noticed him yet so he decided to go and say hello. He was just coming up behind them when he heard them mention his name. He stopped moving and listened.

"Are you sure what they said about John Watson is true?" that was the curly haired woman he had tried to talk to earlier

"He doesn't look it does he?" commented another female farther down the bar

"Oh, don't let that fool you." commented a young man, "I've seen pictures. Dimmock showed me. The jumpers are all an act."

"But he can't be that bad. I mean, everybody likes a one night stand on occasion." said the curly haired woman

"From what I heard, it's not just one every now and then. Heard he's got at least two girls a week. And I also heard he once showed up with a date and left with two." Said another young man, a sort of awe in his voice

"Now that has to be a lie. No one is that good." Argued the first young man

"I hear he has some sort of nickname. Something people started calling him in the army." said the young woman at the end with a giggle

"Wonder what it is?" commented the curly haired woman

John smirked and chose that moment to make himself known. He went up to the bar, standing right next to the curly haired woman, and said, "It's John 'Three Continents' Watson. And I never did get your name earlier."

AN: And that is the end. I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. I always like to know what grade I get on anything I write.


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